Say Peanut Butter and Jelly

I'm sitting here with my entire family squishing our faces while we say, "Peanut butter and jelly." It's dumb but it's fun.

So what in the world does this have to do with panic, anxiety, or any mood disorder? Nothing and everything. I said I wanted to explore life in this blog too, and sharing that is an exploration of what life has going on right now. I also said I want to continue to explore the disorder, and sharing this is also an examination of how life gets all turned upside down when your mind is out of sync.

Children are miracle. Everything they touch is new and marvelous. They find even the simplest things magical and the most complex things simple. They see the best in everything and can always find comfort in the arms of those that love them. A child's eyes are absolutely a reflection of the light of the world.

Mood disorders are erosive. They slowly work at your foundation, chipping away slowly while you are unaware. You rarely have any idea there is a problem until your entire foundation begins to crumble.

As children, in the magic simplicity, we see the light of the world. The light in which our foundation is built upon. As adults we pile garbage on top of the foundation, occasionally dig it out, we see it being built in our own children, and we build everything we believe about life on top of it. No matter what we build our foundation on, right things or wrong, it is from where we draw our joy and reason for living.

The destruction of your foundation also brings the inability to understand how to rebuild the foundation. There is a depth of hopelessness in that no one else can understand. That is the moment, even though you know no one else can understand, you must reach out. When the magic of childhood is nowhere to be found, not to be dug up through the junk, but has crumbled, it is time to find a mason.

There are lots of options, and it really depends on the depth of where you are what option you take, but take an option. Family members, clergy, psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, help lines, psych wards. Don't have anyone or anything? Go to the emergency room. Get help, get your foundation back. You can rebuild your life, no matter how bad you think it is, but you will never get it built without your foundation.