Two Weeks

It's been two weeks since I last posted anything. I guess when I don't have anything to say I just keep my trap shut like Mom always told me. You know, if you can't say anything good don't say anything at all.

Last time I wrote I was dealing with panic attacks again. That's still no fun and, yes, they are still hanging around. My doctor changed my emergency medicine from Klonopin, which starts slowly and works longer, to Xanax, which starts quickly and doesn't last as long. Of all the stuff I've taken over the years, I had never taken Xanax prior to Monday. Let me say it works quite well, just makes me very sleepy.

Tuesday afternoon I was starting a panic attack just as I got home from work. I popped a Xanax and killed it off before it got into full swing. I guess it had been a longer day at work than I recalled, because the sleep hit me within thirty minutes and I was gone for the night. I was out by six o'clock. Shelly tells me both kids got in bed at different times that night, and I usually am the one to deal with them, but I have no recollection of it. That stuff really put me out.

I'm hopeful, still, that once I can get the cycle broken with the Xanax I'll be done with panic attacks for a while. Better yet, I'll continue to pray God will take them from me. Whether, one way or another, they go away I know there is something for which this is useful. I'll continue to persevere, hoping some day this trouble will be over.

I (still) Hate Panic Attacks

For seemingly no reason I have started having panic attacks again. I have been mostly free of the stupid things for close to a year, but in the last week they've become daily. Thankfully they aren't debilitating like some of the attacks I've had over the years, but they are still and extraordinary nuisance.

I haven't had one today, yet, and I hope I don't at all. Yesterday's came from just as an irrational thought as any other. It is weird how my brain just throws me something completely out of left field and I grab on to it so tightly that it takes me over. I think anyone can relate to an oddball thought, but to become so completely engrossed you begin to panic over it is a weird feeling.

I'm a little bit conflicted on what to do. I've done the counseling and know what to do when they come, I've got the medicine to take if I need it, but I really would prefer not to have them at all. Is it time for some fresh counseling sessions? Maybe my other medications need adjusting. I have no clue.

Thankfully the God of all grace has a clue. I'll trust that, for now, He's got me going through this to show me yet another thing. I suppose when it's time to do what needs to be done to stop it things will become more clear.