Learning to Fly

I'm listening to Rush again this morning but I have a Tom Petty song on my mind. The song resonates well with me because it's somewhat hopeful in a less-than-perfect situation. It's the story of a man who made it but is struggling with his success and staying who he is.

There's a fear in "Learning to Fly" with which I am familiar. By no means am I Tom Petty rich or famous, but I have been blessed with a great measure of success in my life. I am thankful for parents who brought me up in humility, to remain thankful for everything, but I don't know that it helps when you have success and realize there are still failures and weakness in success.

I think I always thought success would save me from pain. I never believed it would bring me joy, I don't believe joy comes from anywhere but hoping in God's promises, but I really mislead myself to believe there was no disappointment once you reach success. The hard reality is that disappointment is a fixed circumstance I will always face at times.

So, like the song, success teaches you to fly without wings. The problem with flying without wings is you don't have a way to glide when the engines fail. No glide, no fly; you begin to fall like a rock. The great deceit was in believing, if I was successful, I would never have to fall- I'd never be disappointed. The problem is everyone falls, everyone faces disappointment; so when you are flying on a manic high and remaining successful the disappointment and depression that follows is absolutely debilitating.

I don't want to be a pessimist or a fatalist. I don't want to stay on guard for failure. What I want to do is have a healthy reality that both success and failure happen. They are neither the cure for the other, they are mutually exclusive realities which I should experience as they happen, not as I expect them to be or dream of how they were. Joy in where I am and hope for where I will be, simply living in the moments God gives me.

I really am learning to fly without wings. The lesson I have learned, but not practiced well, is enjoying the flight and the return to firm ground.