If you were reading the other day and got concerned, I apologize. It wasn't something written to be frightening or gain sympathy, I wrote that for my friends who are struggling and feel alone. That was to let them know I still struggle with the same stuff, there are others of us still struggling, and none of us are alone. Sometimes the only thing we need we get so far down is to know we aren't the only ones who ever felt so despondent.
On to other matters. I was reading this article this morning, I think it was in Forbes, about the ten happiest professions. I realized, of the ten listed, I seriously considered seven. At the bottom of the article the writer listed the ten unhappiest professions- I selected number one. So let's think on this, I'm in college considering life directions and I have eight choices. Seven are from ten of the happiest and one is number one on unhappiest so the depressive picks unhappy. So of the twenty from both lists it is the best paying, but you end up miserable and spent. Story of my life.
I've been mentioning for some time that I believe my professional direction is changing. I know it is, but it's really all a matter of faith and timing for that to work out. Is that to say ending up in a miserable profession was the wrong thing? I don't believe that at all. I believe with everything I have that it was intentionally positioning me for today and tomorrow. There is no way any of today happens without yesterday, it's an undeniable truth no matter your system of belief.
Dealing with the truth of yesterday, today, and tomorrow is really the root of the issue with me. As a depressive I am naturally inclined to take the negative point of view. Reality, however is so incredibly different. Much like we perceive light as invisible, yet it carries every possible color; future is a spectrum. We can paint walls and choose the color made visible to us, we can paint the future to any shade we like.
My Reformed buddies are starting to look at me funny; no I'm not saying anything about free will. I dare not say anything is what we make it, rather it is how we view it. Choosing to see only the things that suck means everything sucks. On the other hand, choosing to see everything that's wonderful means everything's wonderful and unhealthy as well. Reality is everything that is both and neither, all working together for purpose.
So I purpose to dig out of this mire and see life in its ugliness and beauty, the ugliness in its beauty, and the beauty in its ugliness. May the light be clear, for color is reflected off of objects which would hinder the view.
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