Over the weekend I started working on a new song. The lyric I am working this around is "when I could smile." The idea wasn't necessarily born out of my experience, nor is it any specific story, it's more impressionistic. Since it's meant for the listener to interpret I'll leave the rest of my thoughts out and let you hear it when it's done.
Thinking about the line I was working with sent me down another path. I thought how much easier it is to deal with people when everything is going right. When you talk to someone without any problems it's easy, no awkward moments, no uncomfortable topics, it's just nice. It's so tempting, then, to always be the person for which life's great. That approach makes sure everyone you encounter is friendly.
As much as I talk about helping, caring, and reaching out to folks who are hurting reality is I don't do it. Helping is messy. Helping means getting dirty and, frankly, getting our emotions dirty is less attractive than getting our hands dirty.
A couple of weeks ago my wife and I were in Manhattan strolling through SoHo toward the Bowery. There was an awful sound and, when we turned to look, we were horrified to see a man rolling off of a car hood and his bicycle crumpled off to the side. A man who was nearby rushed to help. Others gathered watching the incident unfold. My reaction? I hesitated once, then again, and when the police arrived, I excused myself. I rationalized it internally, I was across Bowery from it, NYPD got to him before I could, I was unneeded and would have just gotten in the way.
We crossed Bowery, walked past the scene, and down into the subway station. To make myself feel better about my fat, happy, cheesecake-stuffed self, I shared with my wife the rationalization I was playing in my mind. At that point she said, "I hope someone grabbed his hat out of the street."
That man's hat has played through my mind ever since. I was so clueless making excuses for why I would just be in the way I didn't notice something so simple. I didn't want to get my hands dirty, yet I could've helped so much without getting my hands dirty. If I had bothered to look at anything but myself I could have grabbed that man's hat for him.
A hat may not seem significant, it may not have been significant to him. On the other hand, when I think of times when I don't feel well physically, emotionally, or mentally; as thankful as I am for the big things, the dirty hands, I always remember details that should seem insignificant.
So what does it all mean? I'm preaching to myself again, but just being willing to get dirty is all it takes. Looking for all of the ways not to enter a situation leaves behind a world of dirt in the form of regret. Just being willing to get dirty often leaves us to not getting dirty and significantly enriching life through insignificant means.
Look for opportunities to pick up the hat. Moreover, don't be afraid to let someone else see you when you've dropped your own hat.
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